As we get closer to EDD...

As I get closer to my EDD I am reminded of everything that could go wrong in these last few weeks. I belong to an online community of ladies who are/have been trying to conceive. I joined in April 2006 when my husband and I first started trying to conceive a baby. Little did I know I would have to wait another 22 months before actually getting pregnant.

You can imagine my great joy, then, when we actually DID get pregnant. In true first time mom fashion, I never really gave a second thought to complications or miscarriages. I was naive in a most wonderful way. Don't they say ignorance is bliss?

You may have noticed my new blog button to the right. Read on to hear why the pre-e foundation is so important to me.

One of the ladies who was on the board with me was Heidi. She was from another state, but to an online community distance doesn't matter. She was with me through my TTC journey b/c she was also on her own. She got pregnant a few months after me and we were overjoyed to experience our pregnancies together. There were 5 of us who were due within 3 months of each other so much of our talk was related to the daily happenings of pregnancy and getting ready to become mothers together. We were a tight little group.

Heidi mentioned that she was not feeling well and went to the doctor, who put her on bedrest. Since her computer was downstairs and her bed is upstairs she mentioned that she would not be able to post like she had been. We all understood, but as her EDD drew near and we didn't hear from her we began to wonder. What was Heidi up to? Had the baby come already? Was she still waiting to deliver? Was everything okay?

No one had her last name or specific information to contact her and as the days went by we began to outright worry that something had happened to the baby. Our worst nightmare and no one wanted to mention it. We sent private messages and got no reply. Perhaps she just needed time to digest whatever had happened to her little girl?

Finally we got our answer. Heidi's husband was going through Heidi's emails one afternoon and came across the pm's. He sent one of the ladies an email asking her to contact him, which she did. Here is what she told us:

"Unfortunately I have some terrible news. And I write this with an extremely heavy heart barely being able to see through my tears while to the screen. I got an email from Heidi's husband, asking me to call him. I just got off the phone with him.
Their daughter Abigail was born on November 7th, she's beautiful and healthy. She is now 11 pounds.
The bad news is that due to the preeclampsia Heidi developed Hellp syndrome. she was helicoptered to another hospital after the baby was born.
Heidi's liver and kidney shut down. She was on dialysis as well as lifesupport. Heidi didn't make it. She passed away on December 7th. She was 34. I could hear Abigail crying in the background and Heidi's MIL has been staying with him helping with the baby. We talked for a while and he talked about Heidi with great love as well as his daughter. He had no idea about Heidi's life on our board.
I told him she was very loved and a huge supporter to many of us.
He did tell me Heidi did meet her daughter and got to kiss and hold her."

This was in 2008. Just re-reading this makes me teary-eyed. We were all in shock! We'd never heard of pre-e or HELLP syndrome and didn't realize how prevalent the condition truly is. That summer on Facebook I found that the pre-e foundation has a page. I "liked" them and that led me to find a local chapter in my city. You may remember that I walked in the pre-e walk last May. I did a post about it.

This year I will be 36 weeks pg for the walk. I am so sorry to have to miss the walk, but it's hard enough getting in and out of the car, let alone walking a mile these days!

If you would like to make a donation please check out the following website:
http://www.blueskycollaborative.com/pfpw/fundevent.asp?nnaffundid=16

And while you're there, check out who's on the first slide in the slideshow!!

With Mother's Day just around the corner I find myself thinking of Heidi more and more. I am sad that she never got to hear her sweet daughter call her "Mommy". It's truly heartbreaking.

Love to all my mommy friends!!