As most of my "guests" know, I am technically 8w2d pregnant today. However, at my ultrasound last week the gestational sac only measured at 5 weeks with nothing inside. It's called a "blighted ovum" and my days have been blighted ever since.
Thankfully I had the camp to keep my mind off the personal matters, but alas, camp is now over. We had a follow up appointment this morning and discussed our next possible steps.
We have a second ultrasound tomorrow morning to check for growth. I am not really opimistic that we'll see any, but I've got to admit there is a small part of me that prays we see something in the empty little sac. I'd love to be one of the "lucky ones" who are surprised to see a healthy fetus growing right on track.
So, time has really been at a standstill today. We went to ToysRUs after the appointment and then home for lunch and a nap. We hosted a playgroup at our house at 3 and had pleasant small talk with the 5 other moms in attendance. All the while I have felt a little "off". I think I'm just super nervous about tomorrow.
When we see a still empty sac, it will be finalized. No more guesswork.
My dad always said, "You can't be a little pregnant, you either are or you aren't." He'd say this to define the black/white areas in life. Sadly, I have proven him wrong once before and I'm afraid that might be the case again with this pregnancy. I am technically pregnant. Sort of pregnant. Pregnant and just waiting.
Today time stood still.
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